I am not a weight loss coach…

If your focus is intentional weight loss, we probably won’t be a good fit working together.
What kind of Personal Trainer says that? Shouldn’t I want to take on every client I possibly can? No. And here is why. It all has to do with my years of restrictive diets and insane exercise routines, all in the name of health weight loss.

Because INTENTIONAL weight loss does not work. What’s the first thought when you look at the picture? That was me, two years ago. I had hit my “goal” weight. I will tell you what I see…

I see a woman who has put her own body through the ringer all in the name of weight loss and the aesthetic of being skinny. And is completely MISERABLE.

And then, I hit my goal of 132lbs….

Even though I had hit that magic number, all I could see was flaws. Stretch marks from years of weight fluctuations. No six pack. Saggy skin. Not enough muscle definition. Even though I shrank, I still wasn’t good enough…

The girl in the picture was exercising every day. Miss a workout? Eat less and double up the next day. She was somehow making it through on 1200 calories a day because that was the meal plan, she was supposed to follow based on her weight. I was so hungry! Irritable, forgetful, exhausted, forced myself to exercise, rigid with my food, obsessed over ingredients, and tons of guilt if I even looked at donut. Sure, I was “skinny.” But I wasn’t living a life I enjoyed. Hearing “oh my gosh you look amazing” “you’ve lost so much weight” “what are you doing? I want those results” were ego boosting at the time. Although extremely fleeting because there was always an aesthetic that I needed to improve – in my head. Consequences be damned.

So, I must ask, did it really work? Did the diet and the workouts really work? After two years of high intensity workouts and not eating my body finally broke down, said enough is enough. Extreme fatigue, unexplained weight gain, brain fog, super irritable, low libido, messed up hormones, headaches, hot flashes (yes, I had a hysterectomy but that is not the cause of any of this).

My body was done and started to do what it needed to do to protect itself. Our bodies are smart that way. Why do we constantly fight them?

Oh yeah! Diet culture! Seeing fit pros and fitness influencers promoting products and workouts saying, “if you do what I do you will look like me.” Because lean, ripped photos sell. How about all the social media posts of before and after’s? Or the magic happy coffee, pills, and wraps that promise to burn the fat away? We buy into the romance and the idea of external improvement, without even considering our overall HEALTH and mental well-being. We look for the promised quick fix.

My shoulder injury combined with all the health issues were a wake-up call. Yet, at the same time I was so immersed in diet culture and I couldn’t believe it was the workouts and the meal plans. It was my fault. It was hard for me to accept that the failure wasn’t mine.

SPOILER ALERT – it wasn’t me!

My rock bottom really hit when I sat in my car and mindlessly ate 12 donuts. This happened while I was following yet another portion-controlled plan…this one included “timed eating.” And the workouts were not easy. It was STRESSFUL, to say the least.

I want to LIVE a life I love. Without obsessing over how I look or what I eat. I have too many more important things that should be taking up my brain space.

That is when I vowed to find a better way. Dieting, restriction food groups, timed eating, counting containers portions, macros, tracking food, high intensity workouts 7 days a week…that is not LIVING. I had to leave the culture I was in and go out on my own to figure out just what my purpose was.

How about you? What do you want your life to look like?

I became a personal trainer because I will do everything in my power to help women not go through what I went through. Weight, body fat percentage, the size of your hips, those things have little to do with overall health. Health can’t be captured in a before and after picture or in a number on the scale.

If you’re tired of obsessing over the scale and food, of wasting time and missing social events because you are scared to eat food, want to start exercise but are at a loss for where to begin.

I have been in your shoes, there is a better way to live. Without crazy workouts 7 days a week and restrictive eating. Without obsessing over the scale. It’s time to shift the focus from weight to overall health. Time to focus on fun, strength, stability, joy, balance, confidence, flexibility, energy, capability. You are more than your weight. It’s time to connect to the you, the whole person.

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